verbally & physically abusive coach?

[mabajara1234]

Hi there,

I'm new to this board and am not sure if I have a real problem on my hands or this is typical of a competitive coach.

My daughter is 7 yrs old and today came away from her coach crying saying the coach hurt her by poking her in the stomach and butt to try to make her tighten her muscles. Another girl on her team came up to me and said that the coach had hurt her before as well, and actually used her foot on her to poke. After speaking to a few parents, it seems she frequently hurts the girls this way.

She can be very demeaning and hard on the girls and many have quit because of it. Although the parents are aware of this, there seems to be an aura of fear about speaking out. Fear I guess of being ostrasized. They seem to be of the mind that the coach is just "old school" and even though she is tough she is very good.

The coach came to see where my daughter was and when I told her she was crying because of the pokes, she got very angry and told me among other things that she was lazy and if her stomach was sore to take her home.

Personally I am beginning to think she may be a little sadistic. My daughter has said the coach hurts her when she pushes to hard on her when doing the splits and other stretches. She didn't want to tell me because she thought she would get in trouble.

Any thoughts on this?

[Valentin]

Hi

You know i guess that i cant really add anything new to this, aside from pointing out what might seem the obvious.
You are in the right. The coach sounds way over the top, and is actually physical abusive. I mean your child came to you bruised!! by a coach who uses to much force. In previous years I have worked and seen coaches like this and it has never been a pretty site. Often parents complain but coach stays simply because
a- Its hard to find another coach
b- She knows the staff and has been there for a while or whatever and owners are used to her method
c- She produces results.

If i were you aside from all the complaining and all that i would look at moving my kid to a different gym. I know its Taboo but what gym is this, people should be made aware and coaches who show ignorance and who are potentially dangerous should be made public. This is a real touchy subject for me, because i dont believe there is a place for any kind of physical abuse including poking. Yelling is a diffent matter, I can understand the yelling, as matter of fact mean coaches actually have been show to produce better results (i can cite source if anyone wants it). However at what expence? I dont know.
The yelling as long as its controled and aimed right, and its none abusive i think has a due place in the coaches arsenal of coaching techniques.
At the end though i want my gymnast to respect me not fear me.

Back to your situation, i think that you should talk to your daughter about this, and she how she feels about it all, and act accordingly.
Good luck with all this, and keep us posted on how it all works out

Valentin Uzunov
Author of The Gym Press
www.thegympress.net

[allsmiles24/7]

Hola!
That's mean!!! ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE!!!
I dont really do gymnastic stuff...but if a horseback riding coach poked a rider to get them into the correct jumping form...it would be unacceptable

[hsgymcoach.com]

There are good coaches who are not abusive. I've been in many of the local gyms in my area and I've seen the type of coaching you're describing, as well as other coaches in other clubs who are just as effective without demeaning the girls or hurting them physically. Even if the abusive coach seems to produce better results initially, in the long run, those athletes are going to burn out sooner and walk away from the sport with a bad feeling about it. Check out some other gyms, watch other coaches. You'll see that there is a way to motivate in a positive way.

hsgymcoach.com

[vladmi76]

Hi there,

I'm new to this board and am not sure if I have a real problem on my hands or this is typical of a competitive coach.

My daughter is 7 yrs old and today came away from her coach crying saying the coach hurt her by poking her in the stomach and butt to try to make her tighten her muscles. Another girl on her team came up to me and said that the coach had hurt her before as well, and actually used her foot on her to poke. After speaking to a few parents, it seems she frequently hurts the girls this way.

She can be very demeaning and hard on the girls and many have quit because of it. Although the parents are aware of this, there seems to be an aura of fear about speaking out. Fear I guess of being ostrasized. They seem to be of the mind that the coach is just "old school" and even though she is tough she is very good.

The coach came to see where my daughter was and when I told her she was crying because of the pokes, she got very angry and told me among other things that she was lazy and if her stomach was sore to take her home.

Personally I am beginning to think she may be a little sadistic. My daughter has said the coach hurts her when she pushes to hard on her when doing the splits and other stretches. She didn't want to tell me because she thought she would get in trouble.

Any thoughts on this?i have very beag expirens and i never tach my kids go too www.gymedu.com and whach how gymnastics spot doo well

[Martina]

Hmmm well, I have no gymnastics experience myself, but I am following the sport for a long time already.
I think that coach is too tough on your daughter. Coaches certainly must be strict and somewhat demanding, but poking a 7 years old girl this hard is not right.
Also from what you write it seems the coach is not ready to change this. The reaction from that coach to you speaking up to her was not good at all.

I agree with the other posters - talk to your daughter. If she is treated this way by her coach it sure spoils the fun for her. I don`t know how things look around you - if there are other gyms around. But I guess I would look around and maybe take your daughter with you and have a look at some gyms and do test trainings or something like that and then make a final decision.